Oops, I did it again...

Summer 2006 was a bit different. Or I least, I attempted to make it different. I decided that for once, I shouldn’t be as careless by spending the whole time partying like I have done over the last few thousands summers. I have been starting to get tired of all the drama constantly ensuing from the big festivities; I mean, each time trouble was brewing, I automatically got blamed! Okay, I know I have a bad reputation in general but it’s not fair that people always make me responsible for everything! That was really getting old. Anyway, I also recently noticed that all this stress was causing me to lose some of my beauty – eek! Even if I’m not supposed to be affected by too much sun, lack of sleep, alcohol, or anything else that can make mortals look old and wrinkled– I decided I should go for another beauty therapy on the Island of Crete for those 3 months. Nothing original so far, you might say. But wait a little bit.

I was skimming through the last issue of Olympolitan Magazine while waiting for my flight when I caught a glimpse of an old acquaintance of mine, Medusa the Gorgon. The magazine had her ranked as the “Ugliest Goddess of Olympia 2006”! Poor girl! Suddenly feeling altruistic and compassionate, I gave her a call and told her to catch the next flight for Crete and meet me there. After a long hesitation, Medusa finally agreed. I was elated: not only was I going to be pampered in one of my favorite spas, but for once I was also going to render a great service to someone who really needed it! I felt just like Cher in Clueless!

Unfortunately, things didn’t go quite as smoothly as expected. One day, in the middle of a massage- wrapped with algae and mineral salts- I started hearing loud screams all around. I looked up and saw that nearly half of the spa employees were turned to stone! Then I saw Medusa, looking irate, crawling up to me and yelling something like: “I havchh beench mutilatedch! I wantchh tchho getchh outch ofv he’a!” I saw that her elephantine tusks had been sawed down, causing a pretty extreme speech impediment.. Oops. I guess I remember asking the beauticians to give Medusa a little dental work to improve her smile… little did I know that her tusks were actually functional! Anyhow, Medusa left instantly to return to her musty cave in Greece, doomed to wait for her tusks to grow back. Maybe I should write her a note…As for me, I guess that this summer wasn’t that different from the others, in the sense that even if I didn’t party at all, I still managed to piss off the people around me in spite of my good intentions!